Meeting an Oxymoron!!!!!!

Epilogue

Do not save your loving speeches
For your friends till they are dead;
Do not write them on their tombstones,
Speak them rather now instead.
- Anna Cummins

Well, I should be short, though I have volumes to talk about this guy, who calls himself an Oxymoron. It started like any other internet friendship. I saw his orkut profile, read his blog and was impressed. I decided to say a hello to this chap ( His alias was Adithya then, which i borrowed later). As usual, i acted bit haughty to begin with, talking bit too formally than I am used to. I should confess that my intension was to impress this guy. We exchanged couple of scraps, but it never proceeded beyond that. One day, his hidden sobriquet, blog was unmasked by one of his friends and he was forced to delete it. He did inform me about his dilemma, I wished him all the best and promised him that I would still keep in touch with him over emails.

9 months later

I was on a gay cruise of orkut profiles (only profiles ok :p) and found a familiar profile, familiar place, familiar dp, familiar quote. I knew it was HIM. My "Hello" and "Hii" was watched with a suspicion as he was in "Once bitten twice shy" kind of mood. I had to explain that i was his old "lost" friend. Then we chatted. Well, our first chat on the first day of my office. We chatted for hours, but unlike others we never even asked "where you are from?". He was the only solace for me when i was recovering from the loss of my mother. He never knew it then. Chatting went on uninterrupted for another three months. We chatted about almost everything under the sun. It was fun. Then it was onam season. I was stuck at my office in Chennai, feeling home sick. Oxymoron did send me wishes. Well, i was feeling alone at my office, curiousity struck. I just wanted to know who this guy really is. I could easily dig that out from one community by deductive reasoning (Sherlock Holmes). The moment i knew it was HIM, i was shivering, literally...I was sweating and heart was pounding. I never know how many times i said "Oh My god".All i was saying "This is surreal, WOW, This is impossible, Incredible, How come?? Him?? " I KNOW THIS GUY....It was a great thrill to find him out. Well, we knew each other through a common community (where we both act straight of course :p), there were threads in which we only responded. Now that i found him out, i had to tell him that. i said that during our next chat. He had a similar shock too, he was dumbstruck..He knew me too..That day we exchanged our numbers and we talked. We talked and talked till we both ran out of balance.

14 months later

It was Christmas eve. I was at home. We had decided to meet on that day. He rang me up on that day saying we will meet bit earlier than planned. I said thats fine. Well, I saw this young cute little guy waiting for me in front of church. We exchanged pleasantries and we talked. I was not in greatest mood to talk that day but still i could manage good conversation. People say i talk a lot, believe not in front of this guy. He hardly gives me a chance to talk. :p We had Chicken Biriyani in our favorite hotel. It was something great. Talked for sometime, departed to our own homes.

Well, this guy calls himself an OXYMORON (I never felt that way). He can impress anyone by his tongue. Few girls proposed him already. But he is ....well you know :p . Hope someone will straighten him up soon. Blogger, Editor, Photographer, you name it, he has been all. Wishing you all the very best for the new job, definitely i will miss your online WOW's. Hope you will impress some guys out there too and please do stay away from girls. They can easily fall for you. Best of luck my sweet friend.

The person whom i was mentioning is YADHU.

Conversation!!!!

(DIS)CLAIMER : I have come across a cartoon strip with almost same theme sometime ago. I acknowledge that cartoon strip.


Sperm 1( Young) : I wonder how beautiful the world outside be. I just can't wait to get out.

Sperm 2 (Old) : You don't know kid, its jungle out there. You have to swim a fair amount of distance, the path ain't rosy.There will be only one winner. I am too old to compete. I would rather stay here.

Sperm3 (Optimist): I hope I will reach there first.

Sperm4 (Pessimist): You hope!!!! Haaa ..I am sure that this guy is wearing a rubber..We all will be stuck inside and later flushed.

Sperm5 (Romantic): I dream I will touch HER lips, feel the warmth of HER tongue and will remain stuck in HER mouth..Hmmm!!!!

Sperm6 (Realist): HER!!!! I have my own doubts. I have hunch that it could HIM as well... Mouth?? Whats the fun in ending in the mouth?? I would rather be THERE.

Sperm7 (Obsessive compulsive) : I only wish that i land in a clean, hygienic place..

Sperm8 (Philanthropist): Lets be together, we all will help each other.

Sperm9 ( Sadist) : Anyone who tries to slow down me , by pulling my tail or pushing will pay a heavy price. I warn you all!!!!!

Sperm 10 (Macho) : I just wanna see who other me has the stamina to reach THERE.

Sperm11 (Believer): Gods wish will be done. I pray.

Sperm 12 (Atheist): Not god's wish you fool. This guys wish will be done. Only he has the control of his proceedings. Not God!!!!!

Together : Hey are we moving out?? Ohhh yes!!! We are!!! Yuck!!!! Whats the obnoxious smell..Ohhhh.....No....Are you thinking what i am thinking?? We are going to end in a guys a**. How sad!!! It stinks.....oops

Sperm 6 : I told you this guy is a GAY!!!!

55 WORDS

THREE WORDS

I took a piece of paper and wrote the most beautiful three letter words in capitals. Slipped inside his book. Later he read that slip, looked at me. He didn't smile. Raised eyebrows said it all. The slip, shredded like a paper shredding machine, was thrown away. He walked past me.
I cried. None saw.

KISS
My first kiss. It was most memorable kiss I ever had. His lips were rosy red, gentle, tender and his tongue was sweet. He explored my mouth, I reciprocated . He gently bit my lips. I moaned. I was in his arms. Time stood still.
Suddenly I wake up, my mum was screaming “Wake up, Son”.

MY CRUSH (101 WORDS)

I saw him coming towards me. He looked hot in his green outfit. He is my current crush, I see him every day. I waved at him showing my middle finger. He slowed down his motion, stopped.

I looked around to see if anyone was watching me. None. Empty road. I went beside him, smiled. I adjusted my jeans, decided to enter him through his rear. Within no time I was inside him completely. Entry was much smoother than I expected. Hmmm..

Inside him, I saw many others. I said “ One ticket to Velacherry please”.

My crush – D70 Bus ( Guindy- Velacherry)

THE END

SCREAM ( 101 WORDS)

He was good looking, i mean hot. My heart was pounding when i saw him. I couldn't control my feelings, i was willing to pay for his association. I paid, picked him up, brought him to my room.

He smelled terrific. I slowly undressed him, undressed myself. We both were in bathroom under the shower. In no time he was all over me. Teasing me, tickling me.

Cleavages of my body were unravelled, explored and ravished. I closed my eyes. I was enjoying every movement of his. Ahhh!!!!

Suddenly, he fell from my hands into closet.

" Damn!! Soap gone..." I screamed.

THE END

Another year- Ab intio !!!!!

Well, another year has come. 2010. Like all others, i also look forward to a stupendous year full of fun. In retrospect, last year (2009) was a mixed bag for me. Finally, I could achieve my career dream. On the personal front, last year was a disaster. I lost someone so dear, my Raison d'être- my mother. Words fail to express the void her absence has created in my life.

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone.
It's not warm when she's away.
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
and she's always gone too long
anytime she goes away.

Wonder this time where she's gone,
wonder if she's gone to stay
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
and this house just ain't no home
anytime she goes away.

Bill Withers- Aint no sunshine.


I speak out (quis leget haec?)

Able was i, ere i am a gay ( Fogive me Napolean for misquoting you)

When i turned 25, four years ago, I asked myself " Well what i am going to do in this life?". I knew the life of gay is always gonna be tough. Aint a bed of roses. Aint a red carpet. Aint a brass brand welcome. Only a cold shoulder. You always have options. I came up with few alternatives.

1. To find a partner, someone close and be with him for long. (Asking for the moon, i know. Ahaa, may be that is my only demanding request in my entire life ..lol...). They say you have to kiss few frogs, before you find the handsome prince..Lol...I did kiss or rather try to kiss one or two frogs. Kept my fingers crossed, they never turned into my Prince charming.Instead frogs turned into toads..he he he.. I really dont wanna kiss any more frogs or toads..Yuck!!!!

Love is unconditional, relationships are not!!!!!

2. To be a father..I always want to live with a kid..My boy!!! It may sound suprising, but i wanted to adopt a kid when was i ten (Really!!!Not bluffing!!!I still carry the same passion). i always You have an ocean of love inside you, why not shower your love on your kid. Very often end up loving people who dont deserve your affection or love. Why should you waste your love on some Tom, Dick(:p) or Harry?. I would rather not.

My advice : Love babies, not babes (:p) Latter stinks more..........

Children make you want to start life over.........
3. To live single....Mother, Father and Brother..My first circle..To live for them..I dont have a huge friend circle, just a hadful. But those whom i have are worth having..Why not make them happy? Is it not the way to live...To live for your beloved ones..Helping others, spreading smiles..is it not wonderful? I was an active memeber of helpothers. (http://www.helpothers.org/). I had smile cards delivered to my home adress. I still have couple of smile cards in my wallet. RAOK (Random acts of kindness)

Smiling is infectious, You can catch it like the flu. Someone smiled at me today, And I started smiling too.

4. To end life.... Well this is only a theoretical option which existed then.. A gay friend of mine, who calls me elder brother is an ardent supporter of "memento mori" (Latin: Remember you must die). He has plans for congregating "gay broken hearts" community to spread his idea. I am often puzzled by the fact that many "too nice gay men" are single and many are broken hearted.


These were my thoughts some 4 years ago. Six months from now, i will be into my thirties :( I still think the same, i believe.

Hope

Gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight
Won't somebody help me chase the shadows away
Gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight
Take me through the darkness to the break of the day

ABBA

Wishing you all a very happy new year, may this year bring the best to you...


DEDICATION

I would love to dedicate this post, to my room. The final post from my room. It has been the most comfortable place in the whole world, for me. The place i would run to when the whole world seemed to forsake me..My love, My adobe, where i have spent over 6 years. Today, i am leaving that room forever. It pains me..It hurts..But i have to say adios..Good bye to those walls, who silently listened to my whispers, my laughter, my screams, my pain, my tears, my agony, my fear...Thank you for being my silent partner. I thank thee to no end. I wish you will get a better roomie than me.

Epilogue

I've been a player in the crowd scene
A flicker on the big screen
My soul embraces one more in a million faces
High hopes and aspirations, and years above my station
Maybe but all this time I've tried to walk with dignity and pride

Chesney Hawkes, The one and only

Breathes there the man with soul so dead…….

“We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.”

John Keating, Dead Poets society

I had a great penchant for romantic English poems ever since I can remember. Had I not taken science for a career, surely, I would have been teaching Keats, Shakespeare, and Shelly to college students. Quite often, I miss my college days, especially, the English class where I was taught some of greatest poems of English literature. I learned with passion La Belle Dame sans Merci (French: "The Beautiful Lady without Pity"), Because I could not stop for death, The road not taken, Ozymandias etc. I still pull rabbit out of the hat among friends by reciting some of the poems studied. Those days, I used to imagine myself saying “Breathes there the man with soul so dead” or “To unpathed waters, undreamed shores”.

So who is my favorite poet? If I am asked to pick only one, it has to be Emily Dickinson. Her poems reveal intense passion for life, nature, love, and death. Many times I found her speaking my words, my thoughts. She always said things which I always wanted to say, in the best possible manner, through poems.

Do I write? Yes, I do. I write “something” which lies in between prose and verse, to call that poem will be an insult to the group of great poets whom I admire. I would rather read and learn poems than attempting to write in vain, which may result in colossal catastrophe.

EPILOGUE

I'm nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
Then there 's a pair of us -- don't tell!

They 'd banish us, you know.

How dreary to be somebody!
How public, like a frog
To tell your name the livelong day
To an admiring bog!

EMILY DICKINSON